


The burdens that we bear

by Bring_me_a_shrubbery



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Violence, Burdens of leadership, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minotaur gives the best hugs, Original Character Death(s), Rodion is a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29205897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bring_me_a_shrubbery/pseuds/Bring_me_a_shrubbery
Summary: A mission goes horribly wrong and Bale blames himself for it.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	The burdens that we bear

Being a leader is never easy; Bale already knows that. As a leader you’ll have to make decisions that affect lives. Bale has lost men in combat plenty of times before; he’s even been close to death himself. This mission though, turns out to be one of the most costly missions yet.

He’s heading out to Venskaya in Kastovia to infiltrate an Al Qatala safe house and gather intel.  
With him are Minotaur, Rodion, Nikto and another unit that they have worked with once before.

Sergeant Ivan Kuznetsov is the most experienced member of that unit with his more than ten years of active combat duty. He’s much respected by his men and is a fair leader. The sergeant has a family that he talks very foundly of. Bale has seen pictures of Kuznetsov’s wife and two adorable children. 

Then there’s Grisha Sokolov. He’s five years younger than Kuznetsov but has still got quite a lot of experience. He’s been on operations in Afghanistan and Urzikstan. He’s got quite a temper on him though and can be quick to mouth back when he’s criticised. Despite that he’s a valuable member of the unit.

Anatoly Golovin on the other hand is calm and level-headed. He’s a good marksman and can always be seen with a sniper rifle in his hands. Golovin is known for being a good listener and he always has a friendly advice to give for those who need it.

The youngest member in the squad is Aleksei Bezymenskiy who’s only 23 years old. He’s a very skilled shooter though and has an extraordinary mind for tactics. His only weakness is that his emotions run too high and he sometimes doesn’t think before acting. If he sees and injure teammate he can run through enemy fired to get to them, often risking his own life.

As honourable as that is; Bale fears that it might one day get the young corporal killed.  
That’s why he is currently sat next to Aleksei in the truck; reminding the young soldier to never run out in the open with enemies around.

“My brother got killed in action last year. He got too close to a frag grenade and his squad had to leave him because they were being shot at by enemies. When they came back later he was still alive, but he died before he got to a hospital. If he had gotten help immediately maybe he would still be alive...”

“You don’t know that. And if his squad had helped him they might have gotten killed as well.”

Aleksei bites his lip. “Maybe, but... I just can’t stop thinking of the fact that he must have been in so much pain and he was just lying there alone. I don’t want to leave anyone behind. Even if I can’t save them I can at least make sure they don’t die alone.”

The young corporal then lets out a sob. “I really miss him.”  
His breath hitches as tears spill out of his eyes. He wipes them away before turning to look at Bale. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s okay to cry. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain I would feel if I lost my brother. Don’t let him know I said that by the way. It’d get to his head immediately.”

The young corporal laughs at that and Bale clasps his shoulder.  
“You’re a great soldier and I’m sure your brother would be proud if he could see you now.”

Aleksei looks at Bale; The young corporal’s blue eyes still shining with tears.  
“Thank you. I will heed your advice; I won’t let you down.”

“I know.”  
Bale gently smiles at the corporal. He’s never worried about that. He has only worked with Aleksei once before, but it didn’t take him long to realize how loyal the young corporal is. Aleksei would give his life for his squad if he had to.

The two of them don’t say anything else; they just go back to comfortable silence as they mentally prepare for the mission.

Sitting in front of Bale is Anatoly Golovin who is currently making small talk with Nikto; or trying to anyway. The masked man is answering very shortly and doesn’t exactly try to help keep the conversation along. 

Golovin gives up after a while and Nikto goes back to silently inspecting his weapon.  
Bale has to hold back a smile when he sees the relieved look on Nikto’s face once Golovin has stopped talking.

The masked man is definitely not a people person. It takes him quite some time to warm up to people but he’s fiercely loyal. Nikto has been through a lot in his life and Bale knows his friend has trust issues.

It took the staff sergeant a long time to fully gain Nikto’s trust but now they are quite close and Bale really appreciates the friendship they have.

The truck pulls to a stop once they are all on the border to Venskaya. They are going to walk the rest of the way so they do not attract too much attention. 

The four of them step out and another truck arrives with Minotaur, Rodion, Sokolov and Kuznetsov. 

As soon as everyone are out they all gather round Bale who’s going to be the leader on this operation since he’s got a higher rank than Kuznetsov. 

The staff sergeant turns to address the group.  
“We’ll walk to our target location to avoid attention. Once there we’ll walk in and gather as much intel as possible. Our goal is to take prisoners, but kill the ones that shoot at you. Better them than us. Do you copy?”

Everyone nods in agreement and the group begins to move.  
It’s quite a long way to walk and they stay as silence as possible to not attract attention to themselves.

The air is chilly as they walk through the northern parts of Venskaya. Minotaur is still not wearing a jacket; despite the cold. He doesn’t even have a long sleeved shirt on. 

Bale is internally rolling his eyes at that fact. Maxim is his brother but the staff sergeant can still count the times he’s actually seen his twin in a jacket on both hands.

Bale himself on the other hand is wearing a jacket that protects him from the cold.  
He’s also wearing a balaclava that covers his face.

Nikto is walking next to the staff sergeant; his eyes scanning the area around him as they move.

The group of soldiers is now approaching the location of their enemies’ safe house. It’s an old warehouse building that’s been abandoned.

Bale holds up his hand to sign for the rest of the squad to stop. They are currently at the edge of a forest and the warehouse is approximately 200 metres away from their position.

The staff sergeant chose to stop at this spot because there’s still some cover for them here. The group is spread out and behind the trees so that they won’t be seen. Once they step out of the forest there’s just an open field between them and the warehouse.

Bale takes out his binoculars to get a closer look at the building. He doesn’t see anyone at first until...  
“Sniper!”

He immediately takes cover behind a tree and the shot narrowly misses him.  
The sniper had been peeking out from behind a chimney on the roof and Bale almost didn’t see him.

“Are you okay?”  
Nikto asks from Bale’s right side. The masked man has got his back pressed against a tree as he looks at his leader.

The staff sergeant nods.  
“I’m fine, he didn’t hit me. I don’t think that sniper’s alone though.”

Several voices ring out proving him correct.  
“Okay, get ready. And be aware of the sniper. He’s going to try to shoot us while we fight his friends.”

Bale doesn’t have time to wait for an answer as the enemies close in on them.  
He readies his rifle and shoots at one of his foes. The shot hits the enemy in the chest and he drops down.

Another AQ soldier shoots against the staff sergeant who ducks down behind the tree again.  
The fight picks up and soon it’s all just a blur of shooting, avoiding and reloading.

Adrenaline runs high within the staff sergeant and he doesn’t even know if the others are alright at this point. All he can do now is try to hold the enemies back as much as possible.

The Spetsnaz group is getting outnumbered fast and it’s clear that the enemies knew they were coming. 

Bale reloads his weapon once again and aims for one of the terrorists. The staff sergeant misses his first shot and has to go back behind cover as his foe shoots back.

The bullets hit the tree Bale is hiding behind and he can see splinters flying from the tree.  
That was too close. He focuses and manages to hit his shots this time.

Seconds later Bale hears a pained scream from his left side. 

He turns his head at the sound and what he sees makes his blood freeze.  
Kuznetsov seems to have been hit by a molotov and is literally on fire as he screams in agony. He is pulling desperately at his clothes; trying to get them off as the fire just spreads.

Bale can’t do anything besides staring in horror as the sergeant dies a truly horrific death.  
The staff sergeant feels sick to his stomach but tries to shake away the shock. He swallows the bile that’s threatening to rise and looks away from Kuznetsov’s burning corpse.

Bale once again focuses on the task at hand and aims his rifle at the AQ soldier who killed Kuznetsov.  
The staff sergeant pulls the trigger and the enemy drops down dead.

He dares a quick look at the others and sees how some of them are completely pale now.  
Ivan Kuznetsov was the leader of the other unit and the sergeant was liked and respected by everyone.

To see him die like that was heartbreaking and Bale can’t even imagine how much it must affect the soldiers who have worked with him the most.

More enemies are closing in on them and the staff sergeant sees a grenade being tossed towards him and immediately throws himself to the ground behind a rock. The grenade explodes and Bale can hear Minotaur call out his name in fear.

The staff sergeant’s ears are ringing from the explosion, but he thinks he’s alright except for that.  
He hears footsteps running towards him and doesn’t have any time to react before a shot rings out and a body falls to the ground just in front of him.

Bale looks up and sees the body in front of him. The person has a hole in his head and blood is colouring the blonde hair red.  
It’s Aleksei. Bale lets out a scream of horror when he realizes what has just happened.  
Aleksei must have been trying to help him and just ran out in front of the sniper just like Bale warned him not to do.

“Stay down brother! Don’t move, we’ve got this.”  
Bale does as Minotaur says and stays behind cover. He has his face pressed towards the ground as he tries to stay as low as possible.

The staff sergeant’s ears are still ringing and he keeps his eyes closed so he won’t have to look at Aleksei’s dead body in front of him.

Thoughts are whirling inside the staff sergeant’s head now as he lays pressed towards the ground.  
Two soldiers are already dead and right now he can’t do anything to help the others.

“Golovin, do you think you can deal with the sniper?”  
Bale asks from behind his cover. He can’t see the others; he barely knows where they are, but he hears the answer he gets.

“Yes, I just need to get to a better place. There’s an abandoned car in front of me, I’ll get behind that. It’s easier to see from there.”

Bale nods at Golovin’s words, even though he knows that the man can’t see him.  
The staff sergeant can hear that there are still enemies that are fighting with his friends; the situation is getting more and more out of hand.

He decides to radio base and call for backup.  
“This is operator A-0101 to Allegiance actual; my team is taking heavy fire and two men are dead. I’m requesting backup at our position. Over.”

“This is Allegiance actual, I’m sending you a team to your position. Over and out.”  
Bale has trouble hearing Kamarov’s words at first due to all fighting and screaming around him, but he gets the message.

The staff sergeant is aware that it will take some time though before help arrives.  
They need to get the situation under control again.

Suddenly Nikto informs him that the sniper is dead and Bale feels like he can breathe again. There are still enemies to worry about, but with the sniper gone things will be a little bit easier for them.

The staff sergeant gets up from the ground just as he hears an explosion from his right side.  
He looks over to where the sound was coming from and sees Golovin fall to the ground; blood spurting from the stumps that were once his legs.

Bale hears Rodion scream out as Golovin falls and next to him is Sokolov who looks like he’s going to be sick.

The staff sergeant himself has to struggle to keep his emotions at bay. The enemies just keep coming so there’s really no time for the group to process what has just happened.

The fight continues and everything just turns into a blur. Bale doesn’t know how many Al Qatala soldiers were in that warehouse but it seems like all of them are rushing out with AK 47s in their hands; ready to fight the Russians.

There’s just too many of them and before Bale knows it both Nikto and Sokolov are down on the ground bleeding. They’ve both been shot almost at the same time and Bale can hear Minotaur yelling their names.

Bale presses himself against a tree as he reloads his weapon once again. This is his last mag.  
Better make the shots count then, he thinks.  
The staff sergeant steps out from behind his cover and shoots at his enemies once more.

He can feel rage building inside of him after seeing what’s happened to his friends. The staff sergeant clenches his teeth and takes down three enemies all at once.

Rodion and Minotaur back him up and together they take out the remaining enemies.

There are now bodies all around them; bodies of the enemy and of their own. Blood has splattered the trees and rocks and the staff sergeant feels like he just wants to curl up into a ball and cry.  
He can’t though, so he just holds back on his emotions and orders Minotaur and Rodion to help him check if anyone’s still alive.

Bale walks over to Nikto who is closest to his position. The masked man is lying on his stomach in a pool of blood. The staff sergeant reaches out with a shaky hand to feel for a pulse.  
It’s weak and irregular but the feel of it makes Bale let out a relieved sob.  
Nikto’s still alive.

The staff sergeant gently turns his friend so that he can have a look at his wound.  
The masked man has been shot in the abdomen and the blood is soaking through his jacket.  
Nikto stirs a bit and blue eyes open to look at Bale.

“Ba...” The masked man seems to be struggling with his words and winces at the pain from his wound.

“Easy, Nikto. Save your strength, you’re going to be fine. It’s alright.”  
The staff sergeant presses down with his hands on Nikto’s wound and the injured man lets out a hiss of pain.

“Sorry.” Bale apologizes but keeps the pressure on the wound. The blood is staining his gloves red and he’s beginning to wonder if maybe if his efforts are going to be in vain.

Nikto is struggling to keep his eyes open now as he tries to breathe through the pain.  
“Keep your eyes open Nikto; you’re going to be alright. Just listen to my voice, okay? Don’t fall asleep.”

When the staff sergeant doesn’t get a reaction he feels worry spike through him. He tries to focus his thoughts and takes one hand away from the bullet wound to put pressure on Nikto’s sternum. Bale hopes the pain might cause the masked man to respond but nothing happens.

The staff sergeant has to hold back on his tears now.  
“Please Nikto, don’t do this. We need you my friend; come back.”

Bale frantically feels for a pulse. It’s weak but it’s there at least. He puts both his hand back on Nikto’s wound to put pressure on it. 

The staff sergeant looks up at the others and sees how Rodion takes his hands away from Sokolov’s chest. His hands are covered in blood and there are tears in the young soldier’s eyes as he looks at his comrades.  
“He’s dead.”

Rodion wipes his hands on his trousers before walking over to Bale. The young man looks like he’s on the verge of crying; but he holds back on his tears as he sits down to feel for Nikto’s pulse.

“Is there an exit wound?”  
The staff sergeant shakes his head. “No.”

“Okay. Just keep pressure, alright? There isn’t much more to do for him right now.”  
Rodion takes one last worried look at the unconscious man before standing to make his way over to check on Golovin.

Bale looks at Nikto again; pain threatening to get a hold on him. He can’t lose his friend, he just can’t.  
He knows the risks of his job; knows that soldiers die all the time but it doesn’t matter. It still hurts. 

The staff sergeant is trembling now as he keeps his hands on Nikto’s wound.  
He sits there with him until help comes.

When the medics finally arrive Bale steps away from Nikto only to sit down with his back towards a tree. His mind is swirling with thought as he studies his hands that are covered with Nikto’s blood.

Anatoly Golovin is also getting attended to but the staff sergeant knows that even if the man does survive his life will be changed forever. Both of his legs had gotten completely blown off by a mine.

Balee feels completely numb; he knows he should get up and check on the others but it’s like he can’t move. Another unit has arrived and is now searching the safe house for intel. 

Bale knows he should talk to them, knows he should ask how his team is; he’s the one responsible for this mess after all. 

He gets to his feet and moves over to Minotaur and Rodion. The younger man is sitting on the ground with his knees drawn up to his chin and a blank look on his face.  
Tears are making their way down his cheeks and Minotaur has got an arm tightly around his shoulders.

No one says anything in the chopper back to base. They are all too chocked so they just sit there; trying to somehow make sense of all the chaos they’ve just been through. 

Once back at base Bale avoids the others as he goes to wash the blood on his hands.  
The blood makes his mind flash to the image of Nikto’s unmoving body; the blood pouring out from the man’s abdomen. 

They have known each other for quite some time now and Bale has gotten really close to the masked man, even though Nikto at first kept everyone at arm’s length.

The two of them have been through a lot together; they have laughed, cried and been there for each other through several hardships.

It can’t end like this. It can’t end with Nikto dying because Bale let him down. He let them all down.

The staff sergeant takes a deep, shaky breath as he washes the blood of his hands. It doesn’t matter though; it feels like the blood is still there. Every time he closes his eyes he can see all the dead and injured soldiers; the men that he let down.

He feels tears make their way down his cheeks as the memories from earlier wash over him.  
He cries silently; the guilt inside of him is just too much.

After a while Bale hears footsteps behind him and quickly wipes the tears from his face. He can’t let the others see him crying like this; he shouldn’t even be standing here crying.  
The person comes closer to him and Bale looks up to see his brother looking at him with concern in his eyes.

“I’m fine.” He tries to convince his twin but knows that Minotaur can see he’s been crying.  
“No you’re not. It wasn’t your fault you know. None of it was.”  
Bale looks away from his brother and can feel the tears rising to his eyes again. He bites his lip and tries to hold them back when he is suddenly enveloped in a strong hug.

“Come here.” Maxim whispers to him as he holds him. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be alright.”  
Even though Bale tries to convince himself he should be strong; that he shouldn’t be crying, he buries his face in his brother’s shoulder and lets the tears flow.

Minotaur tightens his arms around his brother as he holds him through his pain. One hand comes up to cradle Bale’s head where it rests against his shoulder.

“I’ve got you brother; you’re not alone. I’ve got you.”  
Dmitry puts his arms around his brother’s waist and holds on. He’s shaking with sobs now and it feels like he will never be able to stop crying. 

Every breath hurts and he stays like that for a while; allowing himself to cry and let out all the pain he’s been carrying since the death of his comrades. He can’t get the images of their dead bodies out of his mind so he just pushes his face further into Maxim’s shoulder.

His brother keeps his arms around him; keeps soothing him and Dmitry feels safe in his embrace.  
It feels like he is going to fall apart completely if Maxim lets go of him now. Minotaur doesn’t let go though; he silently holds him through it until Dmitry eventually steps away from his brother once his tears have subsided. He wipes the remaining tears with the back of his hand.

Minotaur doesn’t say anything for a while; he just waits for Dmitry to gain back his composure.  
Bale doesn’t think he’s ever been as grateful for his brother as he is in this moment.

“Thank you.” The staff sergeant looks his brother in the eyes as he expresses his gratitude.  
Minotaur only smiles softly at him. “Of course. You might be an asshole, but you’re still my brother.”

Bale rolls his eyes as he usually does whenever his brother says something stupid.  
“And I actually thought you were going soft there for a second.”

“That will never happen. I have an image to live up to after all.”  
“What image? Of being an idiot?”

Minotaur glares at him and Bale actually laughs a little. The laugh ends up sounding almost like a sob though, but he feels a bit lighter than he did before.

The staff sergeant leans forward to put an arm around his brother and Minotaur squeezes him back.  
“Do you feel better?”

“A little. It still shouldn’t have gone that way though. All those fine soldiers dead. And Nikto... I don’t even know if he’ll make it. Then there’s Anatoly. Even if he does make it...” 

Minotaur interrupts his brother. “Stop thinking about that now. You did everything you could, alright? First of all, you need to get something to eat. Then you can worry about the rest of it.”

Bale just shakes his head. “I have to write a report. Then I’ll have to contact the families of the men that were killed. Aleksei lost his brother a year ago; did you know that? Now his parents have lost both their sons.”

“I didn’t know that. But you can’t bring Aleksei or the others back just by punishing yourself, brother. That’s not how it works. Come with me; we’ll eat something and then you can worry about everything else.”

Bale hesitates for a while but then eventually agrees. His brother does have a point after all.

When the twins are going to get something to eat they spot Rodion who immediately runs toward them.

“Nikto has gone through surgery now. He’s still unconscious but the doctors are optimistic.”

Bale almost feels dizzy out of relief. He is just about to respond to Rodion’s words when his brother suddenly lets out a relieved sob only to pull both Rodion and Bale into a crushing hug.

Minotaur might seem very cocky and tough at first impressions, but underneath that he’s actually a surprisingly soft person with a heart of gold. Not that Dmitry would ever tell him that.

Bale returns his brother’s hug and also sneaks his other arm around Rodion; holding the young man close. 

Rodion hugs him back and all three of them stands like that for a while; arms around each other and Bale closes his eyes as he leans his head on Rodion’s shoulder.

The staff sergeant allows himself to draw strength from his comrades for a while before pulling away.

“Do we know anything about Anatoly?”  
He’s afraid of what the answer might be but he has to ask.

“Anatoly is going to survive as well. One of his friends from the regiment is with him and his wife has been notified. The regiment has also informed the families of the soldiers who were K.I.A.”

Bale swallows thickly as he hears that.  
“I should have been the one to do it. It’s because of me...”

“Stop.” Rodion’s voice is gentle but firm as he looks at his leader.  
“This isn’t your fault. What happened was horrible, but don’t take the blame for it. Please don’t.”

Bale nods slowly even though he isn’t convinced.  
“Do we know if Nikto has any family we should tell? I’ve never thought of that and he’s never mentioned it.”

The staff sergeant considers Nikto a good friend but there’s so much he doesn’t know about the other man. The masked man has always been very private though; so if that’s how he wants it to be then Bale will accept it.

“I asked Kamarov about that actually and he said there’s no family to inform. I think we’re the closest thing he has to a family.”  
Rodion has obviously done a lot while Bale has only been feeling sorry for himself. He feels the guilt rush up within him again only to push it down as he tries to focus on what he can do now.

“Then we’ll be there for him.”  
That’s one thing he can do. Nikto nearly died because of him. Now the staff sergeant is going to be by his friend’s side and support him through every step of his recovery.

He then turns to Rodion. “Have you been in to see him?”  
“No, I haven’t. He’s intubated; meaning they’ve taken his mask off. I just... I think it should be his own choice if he wants us to see his face or not. He’s got no say in the matter right now so I’ll just wait outside. Maybe it’s silly, but I just want to respect his wishes.”

“It’s far from silly. I think we should all wait until he’s woken up. At least now we know that he’s going to be okay. You’re a great friend, kid.”  
Bale claps Rodion’s shoulder and the young soldier smiles softly at him.  
“Thanks. How are you feeling?”

Bale hesitates for a moment before answering the question.  
“I’m tired, but I’m alright. I’m still alive so I can’t complain, right?” He can tell by the look on Rodion’s face that he’s heard the bitterness in the staff sergeant’s voice and realizes where it comes from.

“I’m sure Minotaur has already told you this, but it’s not your fault. You know that right?”  
Rodion has a concerned look on his face now has he studies his leader.  
Bale bites his lip as he struggles to keep himself from breaking down into tears again.

His mind keeps flashing back to when everything went wrong. All those men lying on the ground, dead. Kuznetsov’s scream of pain as he was burned alive. The crushed look on Rodion’s face as he told them Sokolov was dead; Sokolov’s blood covering the young soldier’s hands and arms.

He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve these wonderful comrades who care about him so much.  
They deserve a better leader than him.

“Hey!” Maxim’s voice snaps Bale out of his thoughts.  
“I don’t know what you are thinking but I’m sure it’s not good thoughts so quit that right now.”

“You should listen to your brother, you know. At least this once. I’m pretty sure this is the only sane thing I’ve ever heard him say.”  
Rodion’s words make Minotaur swear at the young soldier and give him the finger.

Bale tries to smile at Rodion’s comment but he can just feel the tears rising to his eyes again.  
He wipes them away with the back of his hand.  
“I’m sorry. I let you all down.”

“No you didn’t. Things got ugly real fast, but not because of you. You did what you could for us, just like you always do.”  
Rodion’s voice is soft as he puts a comforting hand on Bale’s arm.

“Have you eaten anything?”

“No.” Minotaur is the one to answer Rodion’s question.  
“We were just going to get something to eat.”

The younger man smiles at the twins.  
“Good, then we’ll go together.”

He then proceeds to look directly at Bale as he talks to the staff sergeant.  
“This really wasn’t your fault. I know you feel like it was, but no one blames you for anything.  
You’re always here for us and if you need us we’ll be here for you. I just want you to know that.”

Bale nods and has to hold back his tears again.  
“Thank you.” He clears his throat and gathers his composure again as he walks with the others to get something to eat.

He doesn’t say exactly how much Rodion’s words mean to him; he knows he doesn’t have too.  
Rodion’s soft smile tells him that the younger man already knows.

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely adore all the Spetsnaz operators and think they deserve more love. This time it was Bale's time to shine and I really liked writing the interaction between him and Minotaur.  
> Poor Aleksei is a lot similar to me playing warzone. Whenever one of my friends get downed I always rush over to them without looking and I almost always get killed. So that's where the inspiration came from.
> 
> If you've read this it would make me really happy if you leave a comment. Comments make my day and also help me improve my writing! :D


End file.
